Gilgamesh - Abridged

So basically Gilgamesh is a part god that is super strong and loves women and Enkidu is a beefy monkey man with the hair of a lady(created to be an equal to Gilgamesh and distract him from Uruk and doing bad things) that is not so into women; and they fight, then they are friends.... they slay a fire breathing monster together.
Ishtar goddess of love wants to marry Gilgamesh but then he says "oh you are too fickle for me" and refuses... which is funny to me because he was a manslut before and totally fickle from the sounds of it....lol
Ishtar sent her bull of heaven to kill Gilgamesh and Enkidu helps Gilgamesh kill it.

and they rested.

after giving it's heart which they cut out to Shamash who was one of the gods that gave Gilgamesh his unsurpassed beauty :P
but... the fact that he killed the bull made the gods angry so they declared that one of them should die... after having a nightmare Enkidu monkey man with lady's hair passes away (of course he is the only one with morals here) and Gilgamesh is sad

so then he decides that he wants to live forever and goes to search for the secret of immortality from Utnapishtim, the Mesopotamian Noah that the gods granted with everlasting life.

Gilgamesh finds Noah (Utnapishtim) and is told the story of the flood
so then Utnapishtim tells Gilgamesh about this awesome plant that is at the bottom of the ocean, so he opens a channel out of the garden and floats into the ocean... he ties rocks to his feet and sinks to the water-bed. then he grabs the plant (even though the thorns hurt his hand) and then cuts the stones off his feet... the sea spits him out and there is a ferryman-Urshanabi. he tells him about this plant and how it will make old men young again and how he will share it with all of the old men of Uruk and eat it himself and then become young again.....
so then the ferryman-Urshanabi and Gilgamesh travel twenty leagues then eat, then at thirty leagues they decide maybe it's time for a rest. so they sleep for the night.
so then Gilgamesh was awake i guess and saw a well of cold water, he went to take a bath in it... but little did he know there was a serpent in the depths of it that thought the plant smelled nice.
and so it stole the flower, "sloughed" its skin and returned to the depths of the well.... then Gilgamesh started to cry.... Urshanabi is there and Gilgamesh takes his hand and cries, saying something to the effect of "oh Urshanabi, after all this work and wringing out my heart's blood i lose the flower, why??? i have gotten nothing for myself out of this....but the beast of the earth has what i want now....and by now the water would have carried it back to where i found it! let's leave the boat and go."
and so the destiny was fulfilled...Enlil of the mountain told Gilgamesh," kingship was his destiny, not everylasting life. so do not be sad or feel oppressed... you have given supremacy over the people, victory in battle, and you give darkness or light to mankind.... don't use this power for the wrong reasons, be just with your servants in your palace and 'deal justly before the face of the Sun' ".... the end