The Case of the Misshapen Head

The following is to be read aloud ONLY by Proper English Gentlemen,
The rest of you may read along quietly:

It was quarter past the 22nd hour and all was still but the wind and willows. The night sang its sleepy song to the slumbering ears of a certain Felix Ferdinand II whilst a can of vegetable beef soup sat, spinning in the micro. The can of soup is not important though; forget that it was ever mentioned. In any event, the can of soup sat, spinning and cooking whilst a certain Felix Ferdinand II lay slumbering about dark and swirly things. To be particular, she dreamed that her head was sorely misshapen and was caving in on her brain. This Felix Ferdinand II, in her bleak and ghastly state, etched a frown upon her lips and tried to shew the thought away. Alas, the can of soup, which again, should have no weight in this tale, was finished and had been poured into a bowl. Felix Ferdinand II returned to the land of consciousness, still grimacing. The dream, she realized as she slowly felt the back of her head, had come true! Her fingers told the story; her head was sorely misshapen and inward it was caving! By this time, the ever persistent bowl of soup had made its way down the hall and into the bedroom where the Damsel was riveted in her distress. It wasn't hard to piece together, since the corners of her mouth nearly touched her toes. The bowl of soup was hastily clanked upon a dresser, sloshing about in its way. Felix Ferdinand II sat up and began to cry. Much to its chagrin, the bowl of soup was made to wait. There, upon her bed; upon her basilisk of comfort, the Damsel was wracked with her new yet ever present distress. This was the highest offense that nature could conjure. For the place Felix Ferdinand II wished most for comfort, was the exact place where she found none. It was that misshapen head of hers that caused the discord and discomfort. The bowl of soup was cooling. It was then the Damsel found loving arms and wept her tears of weep. Those loving arms had loving hands that wiped the weep from her cheeks. These loving arms were also attached to a loving body, complete with a loving head. Ironically, Felix Ferdinand II found, this head was shaped just like hers! It was sudden then, that a thought came streaming in; she had never really touched the back of her head before this night. In fact, as she felt the loving head, her own became more shapen than mis. The soup was still waning in its bowl. "All heads must be like this!" the Damsel chimed. She also found that what she called caving, most call a tension headache. So, off she went, back to sleep; back to listening to midnight's sweet melody. Not to dream of dark and swirlies but of marshmallow paddies and chocolate moonlight. The wind continued its dance through the willows and the bowl of soup, that was never forgotten, finally found its home.

The End.

Felix Ferdinand I

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Cold toes, an Upset Stomach, and Facebook quotes

Gilgamesh - Abridged

So basically Gilgamesh is a part god that is super strong and loves women and Enkidu is a beefy monkey man with the hair of a lady(created to be an equal to Gilgamesh and distract him from Uruk and doing bad things) that is not so into women; and they fight, then they are friends.... they slay a fire breathing monster together.
Ishtar goddess of love wants to marry Gilgamesh but then he says "oh you are too fickle for me" and refuses... which is funny to me because he was a manslut before and totally fickle from the sounds of it....lol
Ishtar sent her bull of heaven to kill Gilgamesh and Enkidu helps Gilgamesh kill it.

and they rested.

after giving it's heart which they cut out to Shamash who was one of the gods that gave Gilgamesh his unsurpassed beauty :P
but... the fact that he killed the bull made the gods angry so they declared that one of them should die... after having a nightmare Enkidu monkey man with lady's hair passes away (of course he is the only one with morals here) and Gilgamesh is sad

so then he decides that he wants to live forever and goes to search for the secret of immortality from Utnapishtim, the Mesopotamian Noah that the gods granted with everlasting life.

Gilgamesh finds Noah (Utnapishtim) and is told the story of the flood
so then Utnapishtim tells Gilgamesh about this awesome plant that is at the bottom of the ocean, so he opens a channel out of the garden and floats into the ocean... he ties rocks to his feet and sinks to the water-bed. then he grabs the plant (even though the thorns hurt his hand) and then cuts the stones off his feet... the sea spits him out and there is a ferryman-Urshanabi. he tells him about this plant and how it will make old men young again and how he will share it with all of the old men of Uruk and eat it himself and then become young again.....
so then the ferryman-Urshanabi and Gilgamesh travel twenty leagues then eat, then at thirty leagues they decide maybe it's time for a rest. so they sleep for the night.
so then Gilgamesh was awake i guess and saw a well of cold water, he went to take a bath in it... but little did he know there was a serpent in the depths of it that thought the plant smelled nice.
and so it stole the flower, "sloughed" its skin and returned to the depths of the well.... then Gilgamesh started to cry.... Urshanabi is there and Gilgamesh takes his hand and cries, saying something to the effect of "oh Urshanabi, after all this work and wringing out my heart's blood i lose the flower, why??? i have gotten nothing for myself out of this....but the beast of the earth has what i want now....and by now the water would have carried it back to where i found it! let's leave the boat and go."
and so the destiny was fulfilled...Enlil of the mountain told Gilgamesh," kingship was his destiny, not everylasting life. so do not be sad or feel oppressed... you have given supremacy over the people, victory in battle, and you give darkness or light to mankind.... don't use this power for the wrong reasons, be just with your servants in your palace and 'deal justly before the face of the Sun' ".... the end

Artifacts, Dinosaurs, NO ESCAPE....

So the other night i was innocently going to sleep... hoping for a dream about princesses... instead i got a rather interesting one. (i actually rather liked it...).....

One day, Kathryn led her archeology team (notice that i am so amazing that i have a team) on an expedition on a remote island. The boat used to get there was small, but must have been able to handle the ocean because that's how they got there. Kathryn took her first steps on the moist land in front of her.
Deserted, Undiscovered by modern man, and all there for her...... discovery? anyway, so she led her team, oogling at the amazing jungle around her.... giant butterflies and snakes and lizards.... thankfully no mosquitoes yet. There were crumbling walls, and lovely temples and huts.... vines covered most everything.

*digging, dusting, documenting*

THEN-there was a twig that broke. a rather large twig, it sounded more like a tree. all of them turned their heads towards the area the noise came from. there was a shadow lurking in the trees.... taller than a person for sure....
The shape was so unfamiliar to them that none of them recognized the silhouette before them. Then... the beast came forward into the light and let our a mighty ROAR!!! the whole team screamed at the top of their lungs but could not hear their own screams over the roar of the animal. it was a DINOSAUR!
nobody moved as they watched to see what the beast would do... it knew they were there, but almost waited for their next move....it decided on it's prey and lurched forward to bite off it's head! luckily kathryn ducked and rolled off to the side, her team was already running in two different groups, two different directions...she ran towards the closest and caught up to them but the dinosaur was right behind them.

*running, chasing, being eaten*

Finally, after being reunited with what was left of the other half of the team on a ledge that was quite sound, a head count was taken.... half of what came had been lost. there was a moment of silence. Plans were made of how to get off the island (to their boat) alive.
the plan began, and the small team worked it's way to safety. when the boat was in sight, checks were made to make sure that the area was clear enough to run on board. the area was clear, and it was starting to get dark, and crickets could be heard in the background. Kathryn led the team, but just before stepping on the boat they were ambushed! "who are you??" the two different groups demanded each other at the same time. apparently this military's goal was to leave Kathryn and her team on the island to die. but they didn't know that there were dinosaurs about. So they escorted Kathryn and her team back into the deadly jungle.

*more running, chasing, being eaten, gunfire (on the dinosaurs and kathryn's team)*

there were but three individuals left including Kathryn from the original team. and once again she found herself on that same ledge as before, seeking refuge along with what was left of the military that sought to destroy her team.
"look, we both want to get off this island, you have taken my ship, the only way off, and i do not see your ship anywhere around. You have a radio, please let me use it so that we may both survive."
so a deal was made. Kathryn called in the Army from her home country and they were airlifted out of the island.
as the helicoptor flew into the distance the evil military's leader decided to go back on the deal since they were now safe and pulled out his gun.....

Then i woke up. but i'm pretty sure my homeland's army whooped them. :)

the end
Felix II

little big planet addict

ok, so i wouldn't say i'm addicted to playing through all the levels, but it's the "create your own world" section that gets me...
i can create ALMOST anything in an ALMOST 3D sense and i like it.....
the current world i am working on is kind of funky... but the most complete world i've started thus far. i have learned how to use some gadgets and stuff... and i am going all out!
at first my goal was just to get something new and creative on the screen... after that then i got frustrated with falling and dying and getting stuck and then worried that if i go one way that i wouldn't get to go the other way later.
so i made a "kat proof" level, where you couldn't die, everything was soft and grabbable, no dangerous animals and no spikes of doom. if you fell, there was always a way back.

then shiloe tried it out and said it was cool but there needed to be more of a challenge....

so then i decided to try turning the sun into a flaming ball of .... well, flame. and inserted a crocodile, dragon, and spikes, and i even put in gas and fire.....
of course this all meant that i needed to insert save points... so i did the tutorial for that.. and now i have save points... but now i also need an ending.. and a purpose for the level... i needed to add points and challenges and objects/prizes you could get...

and so after all of this i am in the middle of creating a mini story-line and finding myself inserting traps of doom and creating death traps in the randomest of places and i think that my world has lost the "kat proof" and "good for kids" label.

great... but you'll have to come play it when it's finished!!!

Felix Ferdinand II

the difference between

Growing up, I know we had our bored moments... But I don't rememberbeing bored very often. Barbies and dolls, dressups and paper dolls, mario and toast, princesses in the back yard.... That's a lot of what I remember doing. Besides all the mischevious stuff! I sometimes wish curiousity and imagination would be more common place with children now-days. They like tv and video games but are still bored and never in the mood to do anything creative that doesn't include tv or video games.... I wish they could listen to music-any music- and see a picture in their head or feel something or want to do something and to express or interperate what they are seeing into something tangible. Something they can be proud of and say "look atwhat I made!" To their family and friends..... Instead it is now "I beat that level.... Now I'm on the next one." Every once in a while that is fun and refreshing but where is the fun in saying that?

potato bug

Recently at work there has been a little rolly polly that keeps ending up under my chair...I have to check because one time I sat in my chair and rolled it and then I heard a crunch..... I don't like that crunch sound... So yeah I have to get a sticky note and then scoop it up and drop it outside... Whether or not it is the same pill bug I have no idea... But it always ends up on it's back somehow...

hiking to the waterfalls with Rhett

Soatsome point this month shiloe, ourfriend Rhett and Idecided we wanted to hike the mountain in Cedar Hills just behind all of the houses. We drove to the top where they stopped any there was a friendly sign warning not to trespass....
SOoo we turned around discouraged but still determined to climb at least one mountain! We went up the canyom and I vaguely remembered how to et to a trail krysta had mentioned before-timpooneke (sp?) - so we made it there.but decided to find the julie andrews meadow first. On the way there was a sign for another trail-something to do withbears- from this point forward jokes were made and our imaginations ran wild with techniques and situations "if a bear...." Etc.
We found the meadow then turned around.... This was notnearly enough mountain conquered to satisfy our hiking thirst!-so we chose a trail that appeared to be timpooneke.
The mountainside was steep on either side of us, and the plant and flowers (and thus bees too) seemed to beovergrowing the trail!!! But we fought on!
Finally after conquering the urge to turn back several times, we made it!! To a dead end. The hikers in front of us (a nice family) were kind to warn us the the dead end "unless you want to go rock climbing" they said.... Well 3hett blazed the trail and we fell behind, realizing how out of shape we were. Butwe madeit, and sure enough Rhett waited for us at the top-perched under a waterfall (there were three large ones acrossthe curved wall). He then had us video tape his walking through it. We took pictures, rested, then headed back down the trail. :) now that is most everything you need to know about this adventure (minus the bees/bugs)
Felix ferdinand II